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Kaizoku no Blin/3
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT ---- Rune-sensei (VA: ): Ita-daki-maaasu! Yo soy Rune-sensei and I'll have an especial announcement, comprende? Gourd: I'm Gourd-san, and what are you doing here? Rune: I'm just telling everyone why we're late by another week? Gourd: Oh yeah, you're right? Rune: Knowing this "Filipino time" you lot are associated with, you'll always be late! Gourd: I have reasons in my defense, okay? Well, I'll tell you something. I'm busy occupying Eastern Europe and Italy, okay? Don't also forget I'm busy tending my colonies in America and West Africa, as well as the Andaman Islands and the outskirts of Indonesia. Rune: What the fuck, Gourd? Are you playing EU4 again? Gourd: Yeah, what the fuck, too? Why do you have to expose that? That's totally unnecessary! Rune: Well, what's your country though. Don't tell me you're playing Spain or Portugal. Gourd: Ottomans. Rune was shocked upon learning Rune: How can you have so much power. Audience Guy (some black guy): Oi, when do you stop talking about video games and start your fanfic? What the fuck, nigguh? Rune and Gourd: Yeah, right. INTRO! SIDENOTE: Gourd's relative was killed just a few days before June in Europe. This is why he can't create more content for the fanfic. Anyways, ensure you're watching Kaizoku no Blin in a well-lit room. ENJOY! ---- Brightness and Attractivenes Ain't the Same Thing is the third episode of the Kaizoku no Blin series. Intro music: Lucie, Too - Lucky ---- Moufassa: And this is what they're looking for. Moufassa shows the three a replica of the fruit. Johanne: It can't be! Hansuke: Of course it ain't the real thing. You can't distinguish real fruits from plastic, don't you. Jonathan: Hey, hey, hey, officer! Down with the insults, man. Moufassa: To be honest, it really looks real according to most people who saw this and they were telling me to eat it. Hansuke: Tell them they're really that stupid. The room gets silent afterwards. Hansuke: Who the fuck threw a shoe at me? He sees kids outside running away from the scene. Hansuke: Oi, I thought this is a castle? Why can I be hit here with a shoe?! Moufassa: It's a fort, not body armor. Johanne: Now, look who's stupid now. Hansuke: It doesn't make sense, you dumb piece of shit. ---- Night finally lands in Tripoli Island. Jonathan goes outside despite Johanne's warnings. Johanne: Hey, Jonathan! Please don't go out. Jonathan: Why? I'm just chilling out. Johanne: I don't wanna lose you. I mean, we need another captain here in this group. Jonathan: It's already pretty silent and calm outside. Johanne: Fine. But please come out alive. Jonathan: I know. Jonathan goes outside and sings his monologue, in a perfectly-sang voice unlike his singing portion from the previous chapter. Jonathan: Why do I have to stick With friends' noise that makes me sick? I need my time alone But they can let me on. The wind has blared too loud But it's much worse with a crowd I'll have to make my miiiiind... Otherwise, I'll be suspect of a crime. They want me spill the beans Or all else, call me weird Can't they let me be alone Enjoying on my own? Jonathan: Seriously, they did nothing but talk and talk. Shermheads. ---- Jonathan notices a gleaming object under a palm tree and proceeds to digging the object which is hidden underground. Jonathan: What the hell is that? Looks shiny. Produces its own light. The light is so strong that the dust and soil seems to shed from the fruit itself. Jonathan: I don't think it'll taste like... Jonathan: BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?! Jonathan throws the fruit into the window. Upon hearing broken glass, Johanne and the others go outside. Moufassa: What the-?! Hansuke: He is shining blue. Johanne: Jonathan, what did you just do?! Jonathan: Bree, I don't feel so good. ---- An illumination of a purplish-blue rose soars into the sky and was seen all throughout the island. Unknown pirate: What the hell? Unknown Marine captain: Shit! Someone has seemingly stolen the power of the fruit! Let's go to that side of the island. Marine sailors and pirate crew members: RYOKAI! Johanne: Yay! Finally some action! Jonathan: What are you cheering about? The people who fucked up this island is literally heading here at our point! Hansuke: We're never gonna get annihilated here, I'll fight too! Jonathan: Not even you. Fine, goddammit! ---- Johanne: They're gonna get here! Jonathan: Brace yourselves! The pirate crew runs their ship aground to the beach near the house-fort, in front of the crew's present location. Unknown pirate: Yo. Ho. Ho. Look whom we have here. Johanne: You smell like piss and vomit. Like hello, is your ship the ? Because your crew can't even handle the rough waves of just the Blues! Unknown pirate: I like your confidence, little girl. Now let me introduce myself. My name is Baltazar Le Quint. I am the head of the Quaint Pirates. One of the East Blue's finest I might say. Marine officers are after my ass. Johanne: Little girl? Do you have a parent's mindset or something? Baltazar: Yeah, definitely. Hansuke: Stop looking at our crotches. Are you gay? Baltazar: No! I just see you little people are really feeble and weak. You shouldn't go outside at night, especially with real men like us running around. ---- Baltazar: And who's the silent guy? Why are you so quiet? Jonathan '''(pointing a knife at Baltazar's throat): Don't ever question my silence because people who talk about it deserves a slit in the throat by me. '''Baltazar: Ooh la la. Jonathan: You seem to be a boring rich kid don't you? You sound like that boring Bond villain from Spectre. Baltazar: Don't you ever talk about Bond films again! Jonathan: Why? Did my references step on your soul? At least I cite them with the APA format. Unlike you who seemingly pirated everything and haven't left any references for shit. Johanne: What's up with the references now? What is this blabber you're talking about? A baby thesis?! Baltazar: I'm gonna make you one... after 9 months. Jonathan: That's it with the bad puns. Don't you ever touch my Bree, you bastard! ---- Baltazar: Oh of course I can, boy. Jonathan: Don't you ever dare saying that again. Who you're calling a boy? Baltazar: Then... What should I call you? Midget? Hansuke: Hah! Midget! Hah! Jonathan: He's also calling YOU a midget, fool. Hansuke: Shit. Jonathan: You keep looking at our crotches when our faces are up here. Don't tell me you're blind. Baltazar: NO U. Jonathan: U NO. Baltazar: Deez nuts! HA! 'Jonathan '(pointing a gun): STFU! ---- < Previous | Next > Site navigation